Lay in Bed for Hours, Can’t Sleep? Here’s Why and How to Fall Asleep
Brittany Ferri, PhD, OTR/L Occupational Therapist, Writer
July 10, 2026
You’re laying in bed exhausted and waiting for your body to let you sleep. The hours are passing by, but you just can’t sleep. This is all too common for many adults, and it can happen to people with the best intentions of getting good sleep.
If you’re someone whose sleep is leading to low focus and energy plus a variable mood the next day, you’re certainly not alone. Around 33% of adults are sleep-deprived, and up to 70 million people in the U.S. experience sleep disturbances.
In this article, we will teach you how to best handle those sleepless nights. We’ll discuss simple tools like Sound for Sleep by Soundsory, which can support winding down and getting good sleep needed for positive well-being.
What to Do When You’re Lying Awake and Can’t Sleep
If you need help getting to sleep sooner rather than later, these techniques are for you. We’ve sorted the tips and tricks into a quick, easy-to-read table while still providing you with enough details to try them at home.
| Technique | What it helps with |
| Get out of bed after 20 minutes | Preventing a connection between your bed and stressful thoughts, preserving the space for sleep and sex only |
| 4-7-8 breathing method | Easing anxiety and shifting the nervous system into a calmer mode |
| Progressive muscle relaxation | Scanning the body for stress-related tension and relieving it before it builds |
| Mental distraction | Using creativity to distract yourself from thinking about sleep |
| Calming audio | Drowning out external noises and improving emotion regulation to help with sleep |
| Avoid clock-watching | Taking the focus off sleeping |
Get Out of Bed if You’ve Been Awake 20 Minutes
This technique is as easy as pie. It works exactly how it sounds: if you find that you’ve been laying in bed while trying to get to sleep for at least 20 minutes, get out of bed.
While some next steps are better than others, the simple act of getting out of bed after a certain period of time is really the key here. This helps your brain ‘reset’ and shifts from a near-constant focus on getting to sleep to a new activity altogether. By staying in bed, you are training your brain to continue stressing and building anxiety over whether or not you’re close to falling asleep. This helps develop an association between your bed and those stressful feelings, which certainly doesn’t help with your endeavors to sleep.
As soon as you get up, there are several beneficial activities. The key is to aim for something that doesn’t require alertness and isn’t too stimulating, as that will have the opposite effect. Some of the most important guidance involves what to stay away from rather than what to do, and the consensus there is to avoid any and all screens during this time.
You can try some of the following:
- Meditating
- Reading a physical book (opt for one that is boring and won’t draw you in!)
- Listening to a boring podcast with your eyes closed
- Stretching gently
- Having a warm or hot drink, such as milk, herbal tea, or hot water
- Sitting in a comfy chair with a heating pad or heated blanket
- Cuddling with pets
Slow Your Breathing (Try the 4-7-8 Method)
Deep breathing is considered one of the most effective and simplest ways to calm the body and mind. Breathing exercises have a positive effect on sleep quality. Research also shows deep breathing decreases negative emotions, anxiety levels, and insomnia severity while improving daytime functioning, sleep duration, sleep efficiency, and the amount of time it takes to fall asleep after getting into bed. When combined with other sleep-inducing activities, this mindful, deep breathing was found to have long-term benefits for insomnia.
In particular, the 4-7-8 breathing method is considered good for people trying to get to sleep. You can practice this method using the following steps:
- Find a comfortable position where you can sit or lay down with your eyes open or closed.
- Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds.
- Once you reach the 4-second mark, hold your breath gently for 7 seconds.
- After those 7 seconds, purse your lips as if you are about to blow on hot soup or blow out birthday candles. Then exhale slowly through your mouth for 8 seconds.
Alternating through these steps better regulates the nervous system by steadying the body’s vital signs, which often tend to rise in stressful situations like trying to get to sleep. You can complete as many repetitions of this exercise as you feel you need to bolster your nervous system. Deep breathing is perfectly safe, and there are no side effects.
Relax Your Body Muscle by Muscle
Using a technique called progressive muscle relaxation, you can ease tension or discomfort nearly anywhere in the body to calm and prepare you for sleep. Progressive muscle relaxation involves going through the major muscle groups of your body one by one and tensing them for a certain period of time, then relaxing them. This not only helps with body awareness, but it also improves blood flow to the muscles and helps reduce tension at rest.
You may be thinking, “What if my muscles aren’t the thing keeping me from getting to sleep?” But our muscles carry a lot more weight than we realize. More often than not, people carry their stress in various parts of the body. Sometimes they’re aware of it and sometimes they aren’t. By getting in the habit of going through each muscle group to ease any tension that might be present, this helps manage muscle stiffness before stress accumulates, worsens, and leads to ongoing pain (or other problems).
Progressive muscle relaxation is shown to assist with fatigue levels and overall sleep quality. To practice progressive muscle relaxation, follow these steps:
- Find a comfortable position, either sitting or laying down.
- Start at the bottom of your body with your feet. Bend both feet up at the ankles, hold them there for 30 seconds, then relax.
- Squeeze and tense your calf muscles, hold them there for 30 seconds, then relax.
- Lift your legs a bit off the surface where you are positioned, hold them there for 30 seconds, then relax.
- Squeeze your buttocks together, hold them there for 30 seconds, then relax.
- Squeeze your hips together, hold them there for 30 seconds, then relax.
- Arch your lower back ever so slightly while sucking your stomach in and squeezing it, hold them there for 30 seconds, then relax.
- While resting your arms at your sides, squeeze them against your body while tensing your stomach, hold them there for 30 seconds, then relax.
- Make a fit with both hands, hold them for 30 seconds, then relax.
- Bend your arms at the elbow and flex your upper arms, hold them for 30 seconds, then relax.
- Shrug your shoulders up by bringing them as close to your ears as possible, hold them there for 30 seconds, then relax.
- Tuck your chin into your chest, squeeze, hold for 30 seconds, then relax.
- Tense the muscles in your face, including furrowing your brow, wrinkling your nose, puckering your lips, squeezing your eyes closed, clenching your jaw, and placing your tongue at the roof of your mouth. Hold for 30 seconds, then relax.
Distract Your Racing Mind
There are a ton of distractions you can use to take your mind off trying to get to sleep. One of these is called the cognitive shuffle, which involves filtering through various images and memories to elicit certain thoughts. Some people have likened this to meditation, since it requires intense focus on images for an amount of time that is your choosing.
Cognitive refocusing is another distraction technique that gets rid of racing thoughts, which may be keeping you up. For instance, if you’re thinking that you will never be able to function tomorrow because of how you’re sleeping tonight, you will work to reframe that thought in a more realistic (possibly more positive, but at least neutral) light. You may turn that statement into an encouraging phrase about how you will find a way to do what needs to get done tomorrow, and nothing bad will happen regardless of what sleep you get tonight. This process will look a bit different for each person based on their internal dialogue and beliefs surrounding sleep.
Both of these methods help break the cycle of racing thoughts or negative thinking that may be unknowingly impacting your ability to get to sleep. If you want to try the cognitive shuffle, follow these steps:
- Find a comfortable spot, either sitting or laying down.
- Brainstorm a big word that you don’t have a connection to. The best options are those that don’t have too many repeating letters.
- Go through the word one letter at a time and think of another word that starts with that letter.
- For example, if you use the word watermelon, you might first picture a glass of water, a watch, a wave at the beach, a witch, and so on, all to represent the first letter of the word. Once you can’t think of anything else or want to switch, move to the second letter (A) and repeat the same steps. Continue until you reach the end of the word.
- If any words you think of make you upset, anxious, or otherwise uncomfortable, do what you need to calm yourself before moving on to the next letter, word, or step.
- If needed, choose another word and go through the same sequence to help get to sleep.
Use Calming Sounds to Quiet Your Mind
Sound therapy is an alternative modality that uses a variety of instruments, beats, music, and other sounds for therapeutic purposes, including enhancing sleep. Sound therapy may be passive (listening to music) or active (playing and creating music). The primary benefits of sound therapy are improved emotional wellness, which clearly connects well to sleep difficulties.
Some forms of audio are more evidence-based than others. People may turn to calming soundscapes, audiobooks, guided meditations, or soft music of their choosing. White noise, pink noise, binaural beats, singing bowls, vibroacoustic therapies, and structured sleep audio are particularly known to help people wanting to get better sleep. Some devices have been specifically designed for this purpose, making them fully rooted in science. One such option is Sound for Sleep by Soundsory. This bone conduction pillow speaker has a built-in calming music program to eliminate the guesswork about what to play and how long to play it. Soothing audio from Sound for Sleep and similar devices works to help the brain wind down.
Sound for Sleep is medication-free, screen-free, and specially designed to quiet the mind in preparation for bedtime. This comprehensive sleep program uses brainwave entrainment to sync the brain’s electrical signals to your environment. This type of sound therapy also helps activate the vagus nerve (and the parasympathetic nervous system it is part of) to shift the body toward restful sleep while drowning out any disruptive or distracting sounds from the environment.
Stop Checking the Clock
If you already have anxiety about getting to sleep at the ‘right’ time, avoid watching the clock at all costs. Many people do this, followed by counting out how many hours of sleep they will get if they fall asleep in the next 10 minutes, say. This habit works similarly to staying in bed beyond 20 minutes of no sleep; it only serves to worsen your anxiety and make it more stressful to fall asleep.
People who tend toward this should avoid watching the clock and substitute it with one or more of the activities from above. Instead of watching the clock, get out of bed and busy yourself with a boring book, meditation, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or something similar. These are more practical uses of your time that are far more likely to get you to sleep than dwelling on what the clock says at any given time.
Why You Can’t Sleep Even When You’re Exhausted
It can be incredibly frustrating to feel fatigue in every part of your body, but not have your brain on the same page. There are many reasons why this disconnect may be happening. Some people are impacted by a combination of these problems.
Your Mind Won’t Switch Off (Stress and Anxiety)
Stress and anxiety are some of the most common reasons people can’t fall asleep. Today’s culture prioritizes being productive, and many people feel pulled in many directions trying to get everything done. This often leads people’s minds to continue racing and running on all cylinders long after it’s time to wind down for the day.
When your mind is still going, this naturally keeps your body in a more alert state, where you are ready to move at a moment’s notice. Having a tired body that has been through an entire day and needs to regenerate doesn’t pair well with an overly active brain, so this can cause a lot of distress.
Habits and Screens Before Bed
Many of the things we do during the day can prevent us from falling asleep at night. If we aren’t exposed to enough daytime light, we scroll on our screens for hours in the evening, and/or our sleep schedules are inconsistent, this can all disrupt our body’s natural rhythm, making it difficult to naturally feel ready for sleep. Any electronic device can keep us awake since it exposes us to blue light that disrupts our circadian rhythms. Our bodies do best with predictability, so having regular sleep-wake times regardless of what our schedule looks like is another way to prime us for sleep in the evening.
Daytime natural light (no matter what time of year it is), especially in the morning, helps our bodies recognize what is going on in our environment. This type of light exposure shifts us into ‘day mode,’ where we are more alert and ready to take on life. This daytime light also impacts us in the evening as it helps orient our body to our surroundings and understand that it’s time for sleep. In combination or alone, these can all impact those nighttime sleep patterns.
Caffeine, Alcohol, and Nicotine
The substances we put in our bodies can allow or prevent us from winding down at night. People may not realize it, but caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine are some of the biggest culprits of poor sleep.
Coffee, energy drinks, soda, and even tea all contain certain amounts of caffeine. When they are consumed after midday, they can prevent people from getting to sleep. The same goes for foods and drinks with excess sugar. Similarly, alcohol and nicotine tend to stimulate the body and prevent the nervous system from shifting into sleep mode.
There are certain cutoffs that help people keep these substances as a part of their lifestyle without letting them impact their sleep. For instance, it’s best to
- Avoid caffeine 10 hours before bedtime (whenever you plan to fall asleep)
- Stop eating food and drinking alcohol 3 hours before bedtime
- Stop using nicotine 4 hours before bedtime
Your Bedroom Environment
The environment is a big contributing factor to poor sleep, and there are many adjustments you can make in your bedroom to improve sleep. These include adding blackout curtains to allow for total darkness at night, removing any electronics (phones, tablets, TVs, computers, etc.) from the room 2 hours before bedtime, and adding soothing sounds from a radio or music player.
Other helpful tips include getting comfortable bedding (soft blankets, weighted or not), ensuring the mattress is comfortable and supportive enough for your body, and achieving the ideal temperature around 72 degrees. The temperature can be adjusted through any combination of the home’s thermostat, a space heater, or a fan. These all work with one another to set the right tone for sleep.
Health Conditions and Medications
There are a host of conditions and even medication side effects that can prevent you from getting good sleep.
These include:
- Pain (which is a common result of many conditions)
- Migraines
- acid reflux
- hormonal changes
- sleep apnea
- Trauma
- anxiety disorders
- Depression
- restless legs syndrome
- ADHD
This makes it more difficult to wind down and prepare both your body and mind for sleep.
While the techniques we’ve outlined in this article may be helpful for people with one or more of these conditions, we advise you to speak to a doctor if your diagnosis is significantly impacting your sleep. They will have more targeted recommendations and possibly even medical interventions to assist.
If your sleep difficulties are stemming from medication side effects, your doctor can also help with that. Don’t ever stop taking your medication on your own without direction from your provider. They may be able to replace the medication itself or adjust the dosage in a way that is more beneficial for your health.
The Harder You Try to Sleep, the Worse It Gets
We mentioned earlier that the hustle and bustle culture can make it difficult for many people to sleep. This can lead people to view sleep as another chore or task from the endless to-do list. In fact, this can actually make your sleep worse, turning it into a stressful activity that seemingly never gets done the way you want it to.
By releasing yourself from the effortful side of sleep and recognizing that your body will get what it needs, when it needs it, you can make the act of going to sleep easier. Just as cognitive refocusing (one of the distracting strategies we discussed above) helps you shift your thought patterns and beliefs about sleep from negative to neutral or even positive, releasing the struggle does the same. This attitude shift will allow the other techniques in this article to be effective, easing the pressure you feel about this essential nighttime act.
Daytime Habits That Set You Up for Better Sleep
Getting at least 30 minutes of natural daytime light exposure (ideally in the morning) is one of the best daytime habits to help your body recognize daytime vs. nighttime. Regular physical activity is also a great way to relieve stress and release natural feel-good hormones. (Just be sure to avoid strenuous exercises too close to bedtime.)
While some people may prefer exercising in the evening based on how it makes them feel or when they have room in their schedule, it’s best to avoid high-intensity exercise around 1.2-2 hours before bedtime. If you choose to do some sort of exercise during this time frame, opt for yoga or gentle stretching as part of your evening routine.
Napping is a fixed part of the day for many people, especially those who struggle with sleep. If you want to keep napping, simply pay attention to the timing and length of them to avoid disrupting your nighttime sleep. For instance, naps between 20 and 30 minutes are the most ideal for people as this timing aligns with short sleep cycles.
People who opt for longer naps should be sure they don’t exceed 1.5 hours, since anything beyond that will push the body into a deeper sleep. Waking up in the middle of that cycle will leave you groggy and often feeling worse than before. Naps should also be earlier in the day and avoided past 3:00 p.m. Also try to time your meals so that you don’t have anything other than a light snack for the 1.5-2 hours before bedtime.
How to Build a Bedtime Routine That Actually Works
Consistency is key to getting good sleep. Develop a nighttime routine that offers predictability, which helps give the body and mind a sense of comfort. This may consist of:
- a warm bath or hot shower
- use of essential oil diffusers in your bedroom
- reading out of your favorite book
- looking at printed pictures to elicit good memories
- and more
It doesn’t have to be complicated, but it should be meaningful and easy to replicate over time.
Any of the above strategies is also a great addition to a bedtime routine:
- deep breathing
- progressive muscle relaxation
- mental distractions
- calming audio
You can complete the routine by pairing these with moderating or refraining from certain things. If you remember, this means:
- avoiding nicotine, alcohol, caffeine, and devices 1.5-2 hours before bed
- limiting heavy meals too late in the evening
- dimming the lights in your home/room when it’s close to bedtime
How Long Should It Take to Fall Asleep and When It’s Insomnia
Most people take between 10 and 20 minutes to fall asleep each night. But it’s very common to have sleepless nights now and again. Don’t focus too much on this time frame, as that will only add stress to the act of sleeping. If you aren’t able to fall asleep within 20 minutes, this doesn’t automatically mean you have insomnia. Insomnia is when you have ongoing sleepless nights that take place more than half of the nights each month, last for hours at a time, and significantly impact your ability to function during the day.
Medical Treatments and Therapies That Can Help
There are certain medical therapies and treatments that can benefit people with insomnia. Cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) is considered the chief modality for this concern. CBT, on its own, benefits people with a range of health conditions. When used for insomnia, it involves cognitive strategies to reframe thought patterns that negatively impact sleep. This is particularly helpful for people who have racing thoughts and high stress levels that directly affect their sleep.
In addition, low doses (1-3 mg) of melatonin can be helpful, as long as this is taken around 3-4 hours before the time you want to fall asleep. Dosage will vary based on several factors, including metabolism, preference, and schedule. However, the timing of taking melatonin tends to matter more than the dose since this helps with consistency.
Another opinion is light therapy, also known as bright light exposure. This is essential within 2 hours of waking, as this helps the body naturally reset its circadian rhythm and gently grow more alert for the day. This also involves going to sleep in a room where the temperature is relatively constant and dimming the lights and screens once the evening begins to help the body recognize its nighttime.
Sleep medication may also be recommended for short periods of time to address acute insomnia that poses a considerable health risk.
Always be sure to consult your healthcare professional before you start any medication, therapy, or supplement. They can provide the best guidance based on your health needs and medical history.
When to See a Doctor About Your Sleep
It’s possible that your sleep concerns have worsened to the point where they are impacting your daily functioning. You may be struggling with certain tasks that were once simple or very manageable. If this is the case for more than a few months at a time, it’s recommended to speak to a doctor for the most effective recommendations. If any of the following apply to you, it may be time to get extra support from a physician or sleep specialist:
- Loud snoring leads to instances where you stop breathing during the night
- Withdrawing from social gatherings or close friends
- Having difficulty falling asleep more than half of the nights in one month
- Struggling to remember things or concentrate during important tasks at work or school
- Kicking your legs or having crawling, itching sensations in them throughout the night
- Feeling excessively sleepy during the daytime
- Unintentionally falling asleep during the day
- Growing irritability or displaying significant mood/personality changes
- Lacking enjoyment in activities that were once preferred
- Overly relying on sleep aids of any kind
Sleep deprivation, sleep apnea, and similar medical conditions can lead to serious complications if they aren’t treated. Early diagnosis and intervention are recommended for the best results, so speak to your doctor soon.
How Sound for Sleep by Soundsory Supports a Calmer Bedtime
Sound for Sleep by SoundSory is an integrated therapeutic sleep program that is an excellent fit for children and adults with anxiety, ADHD, autism, sensory sensitivity, hyperactivity, and more. Sound for Sleep has an 8-night structured music program that consists of 40 to 45-minute sessions. These sessions include Celtic music, classical tunes, and lullabies, which are all evidence-based for sleep.
Our built-in sleep program uses acoustic gradation, which is a type of sound processing that gradually eases and guides you toward sleep. So you won’t feel an immediate urge to sleep; it will mimic a natural progression toward restful sleep.
Sound for Sleep doesn’t use any screens (keeping that harmful blue light away from you!) or medication, making it one of the most natural options on the market. This program also has an auto shut-off with an adjustable timer and up to 8 hours of battery life, allowing you to use it according to your sleep schedule. You can charge the device with a USB-C cable, and it is Bluetooth-enabled.
Better sleep shouldn’t feel like a battle. Discover Sound for Sleep and see the difference for yourself.
Wrapping Up!
While difficulty getting to sleep can be a trying problem to have, there are many options that can help you. You can try these from the comfort of your own home with little to no additional equipment needed. Once you understand the causes of your sleep concerns, you are better equipped to properly deal with them. Remember that consistency and predictability matter more than the specific methods you try. Stick to a routine that you develop, and you will see gradual change over time!
FAQs
Why do I lay in bed for hours and can’t fall asleep?
Some people may struggle to fall asleep due to racing thoughts, muscle tension, stressful circumstances, or distracting noises. Sometimes more than one factor contributes to sleep difficulties, since each person is different.
What should I do when I can’t sleep for hours?
You can try several strategies. Don’t focus on the clock, don’t stay in bed for longer than 20 minutes if you can’t sleep, and try deep breathing or mental distraction such as the cognitive shuffle or cognitive refocusing. A combination of methods is often the best.
Why can’t I sleep even though I’m exhausted?
Sometimes medical conditions can be to blame for poor sleep. However, many people may have trouble sleeping due to racing thoughts or stress. It can be difficult for the brain to catch up to the body and getting them on the same page is important to falling asleep.
Should I stay in bed or get up when I can’t sleep?
It’s best to stay in bed for up to 20 minutes while you try to fall asleep. Beyond that, it’s advised to get up and engage in a low-effort, redundant activity to help take your mind off sleep but not stimulate it too much.
How long is it normal to take to fall asleep?
Depending on the person, it can take anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes to fall asleep. It’s best to avoid thinking of what amount of time is normal and focus more on feeling comfortable with whatever process you need to fall asleep.
Can sound or music help me fall asleep?
Yes! Sound therapy and gentle music are considered evidence-based ways to soothe the nervous system and help you fall asleep more easily.
When should I be worried about not sleeping?
If lack of sleep or poor sleep is beginning to impact your health, this may mean it’s time to speak with a professional. For instance, if you wake up with headaches, have intense difficulty focusing or getting things done, or are constantly irritable or angry, this may mean you need some additional help with sleep.
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